This is the guy that caused me to see the light. I have always lived with dogs and, for the most part, was satisfied with their behavior (turns out others were not as satisfied, but that's another story). Until Strider, I felt I understood dogs and knew how to train them.

We wanted a Border Collie and, after much research, got Strider from a breeder in the Midwest. I flew out to bring him home, meeting him and the breeder at a small regional airport. The first sign, although I didn't recognize it as such, was that he was not at all curious about me. We were sitting on the grass outside the terminal and he had no interest in leaving the breeder's lap. He allowed me to pick him up and put him in the carrier when it was time to leave but, in retrospect, I think he may have been frozen with fear. In the plane he was restless until I unzipped the top and allowed him to look around. Then he was content to simply watch.

Other than having little interest in food, he was fine for the first couple of days. I didn't worry about his eating, believing it was just the adjustment to a new living situation. However, over the next couple of months his behavior deteriorated until every walk became a nightmare with Strider lunging and barking at any person or dog who was within a block. As if that wasn't enough, city noises such as traffic, skateboards and subways frightened him so much that he would make a beeline for home, dragging whomever was on the other end of the leash with him.

It became clear to me that I had no idea what to do . Thus the quest began. Strider was in many ways a sweet, smart, and fun dog. It was impossible to believe that there wasn't some way to manage his concerns about the world.

Eleven trainers later, we finally found the right balance between helping Strider manage his fears, and in some cases even lose them, and avoiding the situations that were simply too much for him. Along the way he learned some useful behaviors as well as agility and nose work. Now, fourteen years later I can say it was all worth it; Strider's a great dog. He still doesn't love skateboards, but we manage that. What's more important, is that he has been a delightful companion through the years and still welcomes every person we run into. Virtually everyone who knows him know is stunned to hear that a behaviorist once advised us to euthanize him.

What did I learn from all this? I learned that loving a dog is not enough; that there's a lot of advice out there and that a lot of it is really bad; that there's a lot of ways to change a dog's behavior but there's substantially fewer ways to change behavior that will build the relationship between you and your dog. And what we want most of all is that amazing relationship with our dogs.

I also learned that there was a hell of a lot I didn't know. I've been working on this ever since.